Suckcess

Although it's been many, many years, I swear that I heard this quote from a 3 stooges movie. It goes, "If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking til you do suck-cede!" I have absolutely no earthly idea why I still remember that except that it has a catchy, sick, twist to it (which is right up my alley).

Think about it. Success is NOTHING but repeated, focused failure. I gave a speech some time ago entitled "Success is failure, repeated". Think about anything you or anyone else has succeeded in doing. You didn't succeed at your first attempt. You always had to work at it to get it right. Whether it's speaking, or being successful in meetings, or selling, or even walking, you failed many times before you succeeded. Or, in 3 stooges terms, you sucked at it. There are really no exceptions to this rule. You were not a born success at anything (except spitting up and pooping, and you're still good at that).

So why is failure looked upon with such a stigma? I submit that it's the EGO that uses failure against us. The ego feeds on itself, and it always has to be right, so failure is not on it's menu. Additionally, our collective egos have 'created' this stigma of failure to use it on others to boost our own egos. Right? Of course I'm right (my ego speaking here). If I can frame you as a failure, or as having failed again, then it feeds my ego. The truth is that you are just making an attempt at something to see what works and what doesn't. It has nothing to do with failure. Ok, let me correct that. It IS failure, but it's focused failure. It's good failure. There's really nothing wrong with most failures, and if we would understand that concept, the fear of failure would be eliminated. Here's an example. Jay Leno still fails. He still fails at comedy, something he's hugely successful at. Jay Leno still goes to small comedy clubs to try out new jokes. Sometimes they fail, BUT THAT'S WHY HE'S THERE. He wants to see what jokes work and what jokes bomb. If they bomb he either tweeks them and tries again, or he dumps them. Yes, he failed, but that's exactly how he became a success in the first place. He's just perfecting his craft - humor. We all fail, all the time. So why are we so afraid of it? Because we allow our egos to get involved and talk us into not making any risky attempts at anything, for fear that we will fail and look weak to others. This, my friends, is the difference between the haves and the have-nots.

So, if at first you don't succeed, keep on suckin til you do suck-cede! Have an exciting day!!

Just a thought

Quick post from a book entitled "Infinite Possibilities"

There's little we could ever achieve, now or in ten thousand lifetimes, that compare to the simple fact that right now we "are". Right now we are alive in time and space. Right now we are free to think as we please. Right now it's our turn in the sun. There are millions of people in the world who'd give anything to be in your shoes, have your life, and have your perspectives. In fact, all that you now have is far more than many could even dream of having. You're blessed. I'm blessed.


Okay, one more quicky. Here's the thought for today:

What if God appeared and told you that ALL your dreams were about to come true?
How would you feel?
Would anything faze you?

What's so different between that and now?


Semper Fi...

Thoughts become things

I was initially going to entitle this post "Be careful what you wish for", or "As ye thinketh", or such crap like that, but after some thought (at least a second or two) I wanted to label this with the most powerful and simplest statement that I could. Thoughts become things.

Really. There is no denying this. Try as you might, you must come to the conclusion that your thoughts do materialize. Maybe not all of them, maybe not in the sequence that you may like, but they materialize. Just as any and all objects, or things, in this world were once just a thought in someone's mind. Think about that. Just a thought. Everything!

Once you have decided that you're in, that you totally agree without any reservation that thoughts do turn into material things, you can begin to have some control over the events that shape your life.

Although I have understood this principle for many years, it has hidden from my conscious mind and remained hidden for some time. Not to say that I haven't been using this universal law the entire time, it's just that I haven't consciously tried to control my dominant thoughts that dictate my destiny.

Now is the time, and now is your time. Visualize every day. Take 5 minutes, just 5 minutes, twice a day and visualize where you want to be or who you want to become. Don't worry about the 'how', just visualize it as if it already were. For instance, I want to be a professional speaker, so my visualization puts me well dressed, on a large stage, speaking with passion while looking out on hundreds and hundreds of people in the audience. I feel their attentiveness, I feel their warmth, I feel them being touched by the message I am so passionately delivering.

There. That's it. Now go on with your day and feel relieved that your life will unfold as you are planning it to. Leave the details to the universe, just take action. One warning - be careful what you wish for! Remember, just because you haven't always gotten what you've wanted doesn't mean you didn't get what you were thinking about...

on the road to self discovery ...

Absorbing the beat-down

Last night I delivered a speech for the first time in a long while. To me, it was disastrous! I was not comfortable and it showed in my heightened tone of voice throughout the speech. Additionally, I wrote the speech out word for word, which many speakers say you should do but I do not find it comfortable reciting speeches that have been written out. My speaking comes from inside me, and I'll deliver the same speech a little different each time. This time I wrote the speech out because I had numerous word tracts that I wanted to stay exactly as I wrote them, like "to champion the change that we so strongly seek". The problem with memorizing a speech in writing is that if you miss one word while you're regurgitating it, your brain gets off track, doesn't know what word is next, and you're stuck. I lost my place once, for at least 4 or 5 seconds (while I fumbled to find the right paragraph on my typed notes), and from there I just couldn't get it.

As soon as I finished my speech, I actually, in a strange way, felt very good about it. I felt like the personal beat-down that I just took was deserved because I have not spoken in so long. The pain of mis-delivering my well written speech helped to make me feel "even-Steven" with the world. Ok, so I have not been speaking lately - so now I get up, destroy a speech and embarass myself - now the universe is even with me. Punishment given, punishment absorbed. I'm a free man once again!!

All of this means only one thing. I must speak again immediately! I will write a speech today that I will deliver within the next few weeks. I will promise to always work on having a speech "in my pocket" so I don't have to worry about getting on the TM schedule to speak.

Incidentally, a friend of mine left me a note before leaving the meeting last night (he had to leave early). It said "Ken, your next career should be professional speaker! I'm very serious. Email or call my cell to talk." Now I realize THAT is why I went last night. Learning to speak well can be brutal at times. To have been that bad last night was one thing, but when my friend handed me that note it lifted my entire day out of the ditch!! Sweeter words I could not have read! It has been a dream of mine to THINK I could be a professional speaker. I know many people really believe that I can (especially MaryAnn, which means so much to me), but I have struggled with it myself. It's always nice to get encouragement from your peers (he's not only a great speaker, but he teaches public speaking). Needless to say I will be in touch with him today.

I'm off with my day. Read, write, speak. Those 3 tasks must be daily tasks now, if I am to mount the stage.

Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis, Frater Infinitas
Often test, always faithful, brothers forever!

Sifting the ashes for lessons...

Two weeks now gone, two weeks unemployed. I have calculated that every day I'm out of work I lose $600. It's like getting up every morning and writing a check, but you have no money coming in so it's coming out of the money you've been saving for other things. Thinking of it that way keeps me active and working towards a new career. We are all getting a little nervous.

The interview Wednesday went very well. I have said for years that if I had it to do over again I would find a large Fixed Operations position and be quite content. Well, this position is for a Service Director in a very large dealership. Perfect for me, except that it's 85 miles from my home! It took me an hour and a half to get there. The owner, who interviewed me, said that relocation would be a must. I tend to agree, but there are many complications. At this time I refuse to address them, simply because the position hasn't been offered. I will follow up with him next week for another interview. Suffice it to say that I have stored that problem away in my head and I'll chew on it for some days, just in case I need to find solutions there.

Is there a lesson I've learned from my most recent career past? After all, I left an employer that I worked for over 15 years, only to have the new company sold and the newest owners hand me my walking papers. I'm not sure about that, but I don't regret those moves to this day. The old company had put me in a position that had no importance and was a dead end, even if I held the highest position possible without actually being the owner. So I needed a challenge. In hindsight the General Manager position that I left got a lot worse after I left it (they lost the Dodge franchise in the economic downturn), so it was a good move there. The new position could have been good, I think I'd chalk it up to bad timing. The recession was still raging, the owner had lost so much money he wasn't listening to anyone and wasn't spending anything on anything, leaving me handcuffed to attempt to be successful and keep morale up in a debilitating, decaying atmosphere. Then Daddy BigBucks came along, dropped $5 million into the company and away they went (without me). Hey, it was a nice ride and they paid me well while I was there, so there's no regrets. Besides I plan on ending up in a much better place, so it'll be all worth it in the end.

My time is cut short, so I'll see you again soon ...

Don't listen

I promised myself I would continue to write no matter what, so I'm back by force. I am still looking for work and have been somewhat dejected recently. I expect to have to fight those feelings, it's not going to be easy finding quality work. It is amazing how your mind can turn against you if you allow it to. I was beginning to think that I wasn't going to get an interview, that nobody wanted to talk to me, that maybe I wasn't good enough or maybe my qualifications are too much and employers were looking to hire people for less money. It's been over a week and I haven't had an interview. Your mind tends to want to think the worst.

Having said that I have spent the last 24 hours in a flurry of emails and phone calls, getting answers from several key employers and I have an interview this afternoon! So it does seem after all that my qualifications and abilities might be needed in this industry. You really have to fight that feeling or that small voice inside you that wants to make you out to be such a loser. I know everyone has that voice and it's tough to beat him down and keep him there. I am mentally stronger than most and I have had a really great attitude about my sudden unemployment and I will not let the voice bother me. It's on to bigger and better things.

I'm off to research the company that's interviewing me today. I must know everything I can about them in order to have an edge. I know I interview well; I'm bold and I present well and I'm confident that I can do the job better than most. I also will throw in a very strong close: I will offer my next employer this - that the day I start my new job I will bring my signed resignation dated 60 days from that date. In other words I will resign my new position in 60 days. The only way I can stay on the job any longer will be for my employer to rehire me in writing. After 60 days I'll go home and I won't come back. My employer will have to call me back. That gives them a 60 day guarantee. If I'm not all what they thought they were getting then they wasted 60 days, not 6 months. I'll be voluntarily gone and they can replace me with a better candidate. Simple as that. No one else that I know of will offer that and that should put me ahead of the pack. All else being equal; if they find someone of my caliber with my qualifications then I will edge him/her out because of the boldness of my 60 day offer. I get the job! From there I will make sure I keep the job!

Try that on your next interview...

Escape Velocity

Have I explained Escape Velocity yet? I haven't actually crafted a speech on escape velocity, but it's in my plans.

I believe much of the stress and sorrow in this world comes from people (like me, like us) who are still living with things left undone. Here I have captured almost all of you, because I'm talking about anything that you have thought about, or yearned for, that you haven't tried or done yet. For some of us it could be a simple thing, like learning to dance, or taking that drive down Skyline Drive when the leaves change, or throwing the baseball with your son. Anything that you think about doing that has crept into your mind more than once (read repeatedly), but you haven't done yet for some (any) reason. I am also talking about the big things! Like your career, for instance. For me, I am a General Manager in a car dealership (or was), but all I want to do is to become a professional speaker.

The problem here, for all of us, is that it really isn't that easy to accomplish those things. Yes, even the little ones. For instance, MaryAnn and I are taking dancing lessons. We're having fun doing it, but it would help greatly if we would practice. However, the only time we can practice is in the evenings. Now, here's the rub: we wake up at 5:00 am, and I get home at 9:00 pm. At 9:00 pm, we're practically falling asleep. It seems impossible for us to go downstairs and practice, even for 15 minutes. We are all so busy in life, doing what we're doing, that to do anything new seems impossible, insurmountable. That was just an example of a little thing. Now think of your career. I was gainfully employed, highly paid, but I was working 5-6 days a week, 12-13 hours a day. How do you work on switching careers when you're working so hard to excel at your present one?

That's where Escape Velocity comes in. Very simply, if you are to do ANYTHING NEW; any change small or large, you must employ escape velocity. That means that for a very short period of time you must be 'consumed' by this change, this new venture, and nothing must keep you from attacking it.

Escape Velocity is actually a term I stole from the space program. Escape Velocity is the velocity a rocket needs to escape the Earth's orbit. Think about it. A rocket is launched and expends most of it's fuel just reaching the outer orbit of the Earth. Once it is there it can use the gravitational pull to orbit the Earth with little or no fuel at all.

Think about your job, or a favorite hobby of yours. At first, when you were learning, it was hard, challenging, and took lots of time. Once you learned what you were doing, it became easier to do and do well. You could go to work today and float through the day without expending much energy and still get everything done. You couldn't do it every day, but you still can do it.

Escape Velocity means that for you to accomplish anything new in your life, you must mentally decide that you will employ all of your powers to the goal of learning this new thing or changing your old habits or carving out the time to get it done. The great news is that once you do this, once you've escaped the gravitational pull of the rest of your life (or life's issues in general), then and only then it won't take all of your strength and willpower to change your life. For instance, for me to become a professional speaker I must immerse myself in this new career, learning everything, making new connections, and filling every waking moment with a great effort to achieve success. Once I have begun to achieve that success, it will become (or seem) easier to do. I'll know more and have become more of an expert in my field, and I'll be able to do more, be more successful, without the escape velocity effort that it took to break into the field. Not unlike quitting smoking, for instance. Those first 21 days are murder for a smoker. After that it starts to get easier. After 6 months, it's a breeze - your in orbit.

Ok, that's escape velocity. I've rambled too much but wanted to explain it thoroughly to you. I guess it's to give you a brighter outlook when facing new challenges: your herculean efforts that are required in the beginning will not be required in the long term. It's a quick burst, which ANYBODY CAN DO. That means ... YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE...

yes you can

Ocean of Opportunity

Good morning! Many things to do today, but I wanted to get this thought out of my head and in writing. I am working on my upcoming speech, and my recent firing will fit well into my content.

In a very recent Saturday morning sales meeting I told the story (that I read by Dan Miller, who credits theologian John S. Dunne for the original) of Spanish sailors who sailed to South America. It was a long voyage in the 1800s, and they had run out of water to drink. Slowly the Spanish sailors were dying of thirst. They had spent many months in the Atlantic Ocean, knowing they could not drink the salt water, as it would surely kill them. What they didn't realize is that they were approaching South America right at the mouth of the Amazon River. The Amazon is one of the largest rivers in the world. It contains over 20% of the Earth's fresh water, and at the mouth is over 200 miles wide. It spills so much fresh water (8 trillion gallons a day!) into the ocean you can detect fresh water over 200 miles from shore! So to America the Spanish sailed, dying of thirst, while they were floating in the middle of the largest quantity of fresh water in the world!

So often in our daily lives we feel like we are dying inside; our jobs are dead end, our customers won't buy, and we don't have any time to enjoy anything. The truth is that we live in and are surrounded by a vast ocean of opportunity just waiting for us to dip into and drink! You can make your life whatever you want it to be. There is opportunity everywhere you look.

So now here I am, 3 days unemployed, being force-fed my own motivational lesson. Oceans of Opportunity. Undoubtedly I have no choice but to heed what I've been preaching and search for my opportunities. I actually feel good about that, and the more I look the more I can see opportunity. The constraints are there, yes, but with an open mind and a drive to find meaningful employment (with employment being paramount), my future is unwritten, a blank sheet of paper onto which I can write anything. Who knows, in a week I may be back working grueling hours managing a sales department, with no time for anything else, but then again maybe not! Either way my life has changed and I can taste the opportunities that a person with some talent has, so my long range goals are crystalizing.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now, back to grinding out a job. Just as in making sales is a matter of setting quality appointments, finding a job is a matter of setting quality interviews, so I'm off to secure some face time with my future employer. Who knows, the salt water I've been swimming in may be turning fresh enough to drink.

Unemployed

How depressing is this grind? I have spent the last 2 days calling, sending emails, sending my resume, and taking breaks so I won't go out of my mind. I keep thinking, 'damn, I'm unemployed!'. It certainly doesn't help to dwell on that so I take little breaks for a Harley ride (hey, it's great weather) or a good cigar (I won't be buying any more of those), or to call MaryAnn. She's having her own tough time at work, but she's doing really well and she's better than she gives herself credit for. I have several contacts that I'll be seeing in the next few days, so it at least feels better to be getting out with a purpose.

I have also been contacting anyone I know who can help connect me with someone who can get me into the presenting/speaking career that I want. There's numerous problems here - compensation will be the worst (I was paid very well running dealerships), and undoubtedly I'll be facing some travel (although I don't know that yet). Regardless, I will interview with ANYBODY and consider anything right now. We shall see...

Ok, gotta go. Tonight is dance class with MaryAnn. I actually enjoy it, although I need to be committed to putting more work into it. The Escape Velocity theory again. I'll explain that theory in a future post.

Terminated!!

I never realized all you had to do was start a blog and your dreams came true!! Two days ago I wrote that I yearned to start a new speaking career but was thwarted by the long hours and success I was having as a sales manager. Yesterday I was terminated!! A new corporation had just purchased the dealership where I was so gainfully employed. They had other plans. In hindsight, they weren't about to leave the running of their flagship store to a total stranger, so I should have seen the train coming.

The stated excuse for my inability to launch a new career now gone, I can move headlong into my dream of speaking for a living. One problem ... I am not independantly wealthy, nor do I have the financial strength to go for any period of time without substantial income. So I must find work, and find it quickly. I have family and debt, not unlike tens of millions of other hardworking people, and I must service both. Such is the grind ...

Still, I believe that I've been handed a partial victory, though future hindsight will be the only verification of that. I will now pursue employment that will accomodate my Toastmasters and NSA schedule, which means evenings and weekends available. Yes, that trims my options some, and as time goes by without work I will become less scrutinizing, but I must keep one eye on the ultimate career goal - becoming a professional speaker.

I had planned to sit this morning and pen everything I have felt in the last 24 hours, but that urge has passed. Suffice it to say that although somewhat terrified, I feel great! The thing that I could not do (quit) has now been done for me (terminated), so I am forced to move forward with my plans (talk about escape velocity, I feel like I've been shot out of a cannon!!). I will state for the record that of all the people I have personally fired over the last 20 years in the car business (that number is too high to mention, and anyone familiar with the business would understand that), a full 90% of them ended up in a better place. I plan to be no different. I now pray that I can take care of my finances and my family while moving forward. The great test now begins...

Notes to Self

Does starting a blog mean you are out of the Dark Ages? If you are reading this you've lost your mind (welcome), as my blog is born to improve my skills, not to inform or entertain. If you're still reading this 5 minutes from now you should kill yourself, as you have no life.

I struggle with what is probably the same malady that engulfs so many of us; our success and our struggle to do something meaningful. I long to become a professional speaker, but my success in sales management keeps me well paid and working, unable to find the time to read, write, and speak. Working long hours, evenings and weekends (oh does my family love that), I do not "see" the bridge from here to there. Nevertheless, my next career will be as a speaker, hopefully with my wife helping to manage our operation and traveling with me . It is time to prepare.

So these writings will hold my stories, my thoughts, and my failures as I travel through time, and be useful as fodder for eventual product or practice for eventual success.

Damn, I'm late for work ...