Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Military writings

As I have said, I have reams of notes going back for years. Mostly notes on success and human development, I would title them 'metacognition' notes. I have been studying myself all my life, trying to figure me out, trying to understand how I learn and how I succeed so that I can position myself to be happy and enjoy my successes. I'm not sure how good I am at this point; it seems that I am somewhat successful but improvements come slowly. Hey, I never was that good at school....

I was heavily involved in a chat site when our youngest son, Ryan, was deployed with the 1/6 Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our group was entitled the eBattalion (e stands for estrogen - it's a long story). It was an escape from life, escape from the daily shadows that follow all parents with a child in harms way, and I was the self-made entertainment clown. I wrote many things that were quite funny, but I had my serious side as well.

I just came across two of my writings during those times. For simplicity sake I will post them both together. The first was a short post to the parents and members of the chat site that I wrote about a fallen warrior - Justin Cooper. He was with the 1/6 Marines in Afghanistan and was killed in action. The second writing is actually a poem. Yes, I wrote many poems then. This poem was after we lost several Marines and it was an outpouring of my thoughts and hopefully a healing tool for the many family members on the ebattalion site.


Justin Cooper

The deafening noise of the drama unfolds, battle lines drawn between good and evil. An attacked country fights honorably for the freedom of an oppressed people. Chaos reigns, evil thrives, and uncertainty clouds the judgement of all. Fear infiltrates and erodes the morals of man.

In the thickest of the fight, through the dust and smoke and clouds, there alone stood one brave Marine.

His name was Justin Cooper.

For God called Justin to stand and deliver. He did not shirk, he did not shy, he bravely stepped to his destiny. Then God called him home, and Justin became our hero.

In the final measure, nothing speaks like deeds. Just as he surely had done countless times growing up, Justin stood up to protect the weak. Hero, warrior, patriot. Son, brother, protector. A leader of men.

Now, we are thanking you. For being so strong, for enduring all your pain, but most of all for giving us Justin. We would not have known Justin at all, then he stepped bravely into the realm of Hero, a Fallen Hero, now one of God's Marines. It was only then that we learned of this man, how selfless, how giving he was. It is only men of his creed, this righteous strain of men of steel, that are chosen to selflessly give their lives for the freedom of our great country. How sad that only the best are chosen for this sacrifice, but how wonderful that we honor them for the rest of our lives. And honor him we will do, for Justin has valiantly earned that honor.

Justin, we miss you, and we thank you for your selfless service to us and to this great country of ours on which you laid your life.

The tears shed by a Marine
Are the most rare and fall the hardest
For they are shed for our fallen brothers.

Semper Fidelis

Ken & MaryAnn Kraft
Former Marine
Parents of Sg. Ryan Kraft
Charlie Company, 1/6 Marines


#2


MY HERO

In this time of such great pain,
In these dark days of war's rein
He's talking to you now
And telling you calmly how

It was his turn to be - A Hero

As he was growing up,
A man from just a pup
Dreaming dreams like this by day
He always knew he'd find a way

To be - A Hero

Tortured and persecuted the people were,
Struck repeatedly by terror's evil spur
Never keeping what they earn
Not knowing where to turn

They cried out for - A Hero

He knew his chance had come
As he watched the towers tumble down
He packed up his things and kissed his wife
Just as he knew he would all his life

It was his time to be - A Hero

Sleepless nights, intense heat,
Never knowing when he'll eat
He looked into the eyes of the innocent
Content with himself that his life was being spent

As - A Hero

And he saw the progress made
As the people came out of the shade
He knew the right thing was being done
But the ugly war was far from won

They thanked him for being - A Hero

Then the weapon found it's mark,
And his whole world turned to dark
As his life poured out his veins
He felt the peace that always came

To - A Hero

Now he'd been doing it all his life,
So it just seemed natural that warm night
The position that he always did seek,
His turn to stand between the evil and the weak

His turn to be - A Hero

And now he passes the burden to you,
In memory of him, what will you do?
Find your passion, find your cause
And in his name have no more pause

Your turn to be - A Hero

We always think we don't have enough,
Hasn't he shown that you can be tough?
He's telling you now from Heaven's peak
Your turn to stand between the evil and the weak.

And you've always been - His Hero


Ken Kraft
October 2007

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Let Go of My Ego!

Going through my notes (I have reams of them) from past readings, writings, and thoughts, I came across these scribblings about the Ego. They are quite insightful and will hopefully give you pause and jumpstart your thoughts about yourself. Life is about self-discovery. The more we know ourselves, the more equiped we are to find peace, to succeed, and to realize our own special purpose in this life.

I hope you enjoy these notes and I pray that they put you in a different place than you were before you mistakenly stumbled upon this posting. If not, see the Complaint Department (that's my wife). She'll get right back to you. Promise.

EGO

We have an unconscious compulsion to enhance our identity through association with an object. It is built into the very structure of our egoic mind.

"I try to find myself in things by association but never quite make it and end up losing myself in them." That is the fate of the ego. It doesn't work.

The ego always wants more. The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth, is a dysfunction and a disease.

There is such strong emotion with losing an item or having it taken from you (I felt violated because my house was robbed). You are not less of a person without the item.

Many people don't realize until they're on their death bed and everything external falls away that NO THING ever had anything to do with who they are. This whole concept of "ownership" is revealed as meaningless.

If you take away one kind of identification, the ego will quickly find another. The ego lives through comparison. How you are seen by others turns into how you see yourself.

If we cannot look through this collective delusion, we will be condemned to chasing after things for the rest of our lives in the vain hope of finding our worth and completion of our sense of self there.

Large corporations are egoic entities that compete with each other for more. Their only blind aim is profit. They pursue that aim with absolute ruthlessness. Nature, animals, people, even their own employees, are no more than digits on a balance sheet, lifeless objects to be used then discarded.

Your identity to suffering is egoic (ex.-being a minority). You may then think and speak of yourself as a "sufferer" of this or that chronis illness or disability. You receive a great deal of attention from doctors and others who constantly confirm to you your conceptual identity as a sufferer or a patient. You then unconsciously cling to the illness because it has become the most important part of who you perceive yourself to be.

Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in.

There is a "me" that loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup or the inattention of store employees and is going to make the most of it. A "me" that enjoys making someone wrong. Sometimes it becomes obvious that the ego doesn't really want to change, so that it can go on complaining.

There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong. In other words, you need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are.

Here it becomes obvious that the human ego in it's collective aspect as "us" against "them" is even more insane than the individual ego, although the mechanism is the same. By far the greater part of violence that humans have inflicted on each other is done by normal, respectable citizens in the service of the collective ego.

The particular egoic patterns that you react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their indentity tend to be the same patterns that are also in you.

In certain cases you may need to protect yourself, but beware of making it your mission to "eradicate evil" as you are likely to turn into the very thing you are fighting against.

When the ego (or collective egos) is at war, know that it is no more than an illusion that is fighting to survive. That illusion thinks it's you.

If/when you learn to deny ego, what remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts and feelings come and go. That is Being, that is the deeper, true I. Once you accept that, whatever happens is only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses it's seriousness, it's heaviness.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.

Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.

The extent of the ego's inability to recognize itself and see what it's doing is staggering and unbelievable. It will do exactly what it condemns others for and not see it. When it is pointed out, it will use angry denial, clever arguments, and self-justifications to distort the facts.

Zen - don't seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.

Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought. It reacts to every thought as if it were a reality.

If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that - small.

To the human 'Pain-Body', pain is pleasure. It is not so much that you cannot stop your train of negative thoughts, but that you don't want to.

'Pain-Bodies' love intimate relationships and families because that is where they get most of their food. The pain-body attempts to provoke - push their buttons, as the expression goes, so it can feed on the ensuing drama.

You are like an apparently poor person who does not know he has a bank account with $100 million in it and so his wealth remains an unexpressed potential.

If the thought of lack - money, recognition, or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. All you see is lack.

**Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give.

"Give and it will be given unto you"

When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy. You become a giver.

Abundance comes only to those who already have it. "For the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away." Mark 4:25

**AS LONG AS EGO RUNS YOUR LIFE, THERE ARE 2 WAYS OF BEING UNHAPPY. NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IS ONE. GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IS THE OTHER.

**Whether the other person is right or wrong is irrelevant to the ego. It is much more interested in self preservation than in the truth.

JOY CANNOT COME TO YOU. IT EMANATES FROM WITHIN YOU.

"For everyone who exhalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exhalted." Luke 14:10+11

If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe.

If you don't become speechless when looking out into space on a clear night, you are not really looking.

You are precious and at the same time insignificant.

When instead of reacting against a situation (failure, getting fired), you merge with it, the solution arises out of the situation itself.

Breathing isn't really something that you do but something that you witness as it happens. The Intelligence within the body is doing it.

Light from the galaxy closest to our own, the Andromeda Galaxy, takes 2.4 million years to reach us. In that context, do you really think you're that important? Relax.

Stillness is that language God speaks, and everything else is a bad translation.

The sun rises and sets, true or false? Both. From outer space - false. From your front yard - true. There is little black and white. There just is.

Intelligence in the service of madness. Splitting the atom requires great intelligence. Using that intelligence for building and stockpiling atomic bombs is insane or at best extremely unintelligent.

Stupidity is relatively harmless, but intelligent stupidity is highly dangerous. Intelligent stupidity comes from Ego.

There is a vast difference between stress and intensity.

You can lose something you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.

The three modalities of awakened doing are Acceptance, Enjoyment, and Enthusiasm. Each one represents a certain vibrational frequency of consciousness.

"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through. Listen to this music." Hafiz - 14th century poet

The ego's wanting always tries to take from something or someone; enthusiasm gives out of it's own abundance.

You cannot manifest what you want, you can only manifest what you already have.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. The meek are the egoless.

I hope that you have enjoyed these tidbits of wisdom. I pray that some of them struck a chord and sunk in. If you want to read more, ALL OF THESE NOTES came from the book entitled "A New Earth", by Eckhart Tolle. It is a great read and goes into much more detail that what you've just read. The Ego is a very complex being, but has evolved into a very evil weapon. One that we must control within ourselves. I did not have the time to put these notes into stories, so I have typed them as they appear in one of my notepads. My apologies for that. I still hope I was able to give you something, or pass the wisdom along.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Note to Self - Time to Rise

As I suspect it is with most of you, there's just way too much information out there to absorb. I read a lot and retain little. The only thing I always remember is whatever my wife of 27 years tells me (hey, a guy needs to score points when he can...). So when I found an article rating the newest hiking boots/shoes, I needed to be able to tuck that information somewhere it could be easily retrieved. You simply cannot remember names like Garmen Moontracker XGS Duratrack IIIs, or XGen Ninja Clippers 345-TLs (ok I made those up 'cuz I already can't remember the real names). If I saved it on my laptop at home, I wouldn't be able to retrieve it at work or at the store so the obvious answer was to send the article to myself, however, you end up sending just the link (because they want you to return to their website!) so you really STILL don't have the information. A quick copy and paste the body of the article to a new email does the trick, then I just send it to myself (massive ego points for being super intelligent! Wait, what? EVERYBODY does that? Who leaked my trick?!).

This morning I'm sipping my coffee downstairs, determined to post a witty, motivational, emotional story (would you settle for 2 out of 3? How 'bout a really good 1?) because it's either that or the treadmill next to me (it stares at me like the GEICO stack of money with eyes!). To waste some time before I actually have to engage my reduced thinking capacity (like warmups) I pull up my email to wade through the cyber-muck of daily trash that I get. Now I normally delete my Spam without ever clicking on it to see if some quality email got caught in the filter like a dolphin in the tuna nets, but for some reason today I actually checked (I have to save the tuna!). There, laughing at me, was MY OWN EMAIL! In my SPAM FILE! How can that happen? Is my email-writing quality so bad (ala the Nigerian millionaires) that my computer labeled it spam? Was it the collective world consciousness telling me to go ahead and shove that pen in my eye because your own "note to self" messages are less important in this world than "Cooking with Rutabegas by Rachael Ray" cookbook email from Amazon.com?!! (ok, maybe the 'pen in the eye' bit was a little harsh) I slumped in the chair and stared back at my screen, unable to move, attempting to discern the real message...

Then I laughed. Ok, I get it. Irony. Not so much a "you're such a knucklehead" moment as a "here's a little whisper of a Life Lesson".

The "what I say gets listed in order of importance of what I pay attention to" Freudian comment? It's true. Do I really NOT pay attention to what I think or say to myself? It's really true, and it's true with you as well.

Why do you tell yourself that you need to start exercising, then eat that piece of chocolate or nuzzle that pastry at your desk (yes, nuzzle. Think about it). Why do you bemoan working so hard for someone you don't like, then still work late because you feel guilty that you haven't accomplished enough (or because everyone else is still working)? Why is it true that whenever you reflect on your own life you feel like you've gone nowhere, even though you know what you really, really want (yes you do)?

Because you (we) don't pay enough attention to yourself. Because you don't value your own insights, ideas, and dreams. Because you've been taught to shelve and hide your own feelings, your own selfishness, your own agenda for the good of others and community, and the world is using that against you. Marketing geniuses apply guilt and pressure to seduce you, bosses and friends use the same tactics to steal your time, and you apply most of the damage yourself in the misuse of your time and efforts with excuses and justifications.

You've put your own life in your Spam file.

Quit screwing around with your life. Stop floating on the sea and start swimming towards SOMETHING. In a flash your life will be over, what will you have accomplished? You answer all your emails, you return all your phone calls, you are a good employee. You're all the things EVERYBODY ELSE WANTS YOU TO BE, but what do YOU want? What is your destiny? What kind of life has God designed for you? You know the answer but you've been hiding, too busy answering to people who mean little and who in the end won't matter, too busy holding your hands over your ears trying to drown out that voice. You've shelved your own message into your Spam filter but it won't delete. It never will. It's your purpose in life, it's what you're here for.

You have two choices; keep trying to delete that voice, those thoughts, that 'note to self' in your Spam filter. Or answer the call. Cowboy up. Stand and deliver. Decide that the dream inside of you is going to come out one way or another and you are the one who will make sure of it. You and God. Once you decide, truly decide, that you are finally going to fulfill your destiny, it's like calling in an air strike. You just have to ask Him, give the exact coordinates (that means tell Him what you want to accomplish and let Him figure out how you'll get there), then get to work, knowing the impact is imminent. (think about that one too)

I just moved my 'note to self' spam email to my inbox. Easy decision, but backed with conviction and action, it's all you need to do. Go on, fullfill your destiny. It's time to move YOUR dream from spam to your priority inbox.

It's Time To Rise...