Absorbing the beat-down

Last night I delivered a speech for the first time in a long while. To me, it was disastrous! I was not comfortable and it showed in my heightened tone of voice throughout the speech. Additionally, I wrote the speech out word for word, which many speakers say you should do but I do not find it comfortable reciting speeches that have been written out. My speaking comes from inside me, and I'll deliver the same speech a little different each time. This time I wrote the speech out because I had numerous word tracts that I wanted to stay exactly as I wrote them, like "to champion the change that we so strongly seek". The problem with memorizing a speech in writing is that if you miss one word while you're regurgitating it, your brain gets off track, doesn't know what word is next, and you're stuck. I lost my place once, for at least 4 or 5 seconds (while I fumbled to find the right paragraph on my typed notes), and from there I just couldn't get it.

As soon as I finished my speech, I actually, in a strange way, felt very good about it. I felt like the personal beat-down that I just took was deserved because I have not spoken in so long. The pain of mis-delivering my well written speech helped to make me feel "even-Steven" with the world. Ok, so I have not been speaking lately - so now I get up, destroy a speech and embarass myself - now the universe is even with me. Punishment given, punishment absorbed. I'm a free man once again!!

All of this means only one thing. I must speak again immediately! I will write a speech today that I will deliver within the next few weeks. I will promise to always work on having a speech "in my pocket" so I don't have to worry about getting on the TM schedule to speak.

Incidentally, a friend of mine left me a note before leaving the meeting last night (he had to leave early). It said "Ken, your next career should be professional speaker! I'm very serious. Email or call my cell to talk." Now I realize THAT is why I went last night. Learning to speak well can be brutal at times. To have been that bad last night was one thing, but when my friend handed me that note it lifted my entire day out of the ditch!! Sweeter words I could not have read! It has been a dream of mine to THINK I could be a professional speaker. I know many people really believe that I can (especially MaryAnn, which means so much to me), but I have struggled with it myself. It's always nice to get encouragement from your peers (he's not only a great speaker, but he teaches public speaking). Needless to say I will be in touch with him today.

I'm off with my day. Read, write, speak. Those 3 tasks must be daily tasks now, if I am to mount the stage.

Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis, Frater Infinitas
Often test, always faithful, brothers forever!