Here's my latest District International Speech Competition Speech:
Life Happens
What is your definition of success? I’ve always believed that success was about helping people and the more people you could help the more successful you could become. So throughout my life I’ve tried to put myself in position to help more and more people so that I could achieve some of that success.
Mr. Contest Master, fellow Toastmasters, and guests, the problem is while I am striving for that success, “life happens.” My career path has gone from former Marine, to ex-disgruntled postal worker, to car salesman. Yes, car salesman...
But I kept believing in myself, in my dream. Sometimes I dreamed just to escape, (while delivering your mail, to your neighbor). But the harder I worked the more Life threw obstacles in my path, and I began to feel like I was becoming a total failure.
Successful author, Napoleon Hill said, “Any thought held and revered in the mind begins at once to clothe itself in the most convenient physical form available.” Thoughts become Things.
I’ve been through so many obstacles in my life, haven’t you? But obstacles don’t stop us, we stop ourselves. We don’t drown by falling in the water, we drown by staying there. We drown by giving up on our dreams. Life happens for a reason. The obstacles that you’ve faced were turning points to keep you on your path.
The obstacles of my life came early. A runaway at the age of 14, I made all the wrong decisions and got all the wrong results. But if weren’t for the obstacles of my youth I’d never have been forced into the Marine Corps… er, I never would have “enlisted” into the Marine Corps. If I’d never “enlisted” into the Marine Corps I never would have met and married my beautiful wife, MaryAnn. After the Marines I spent 7 years as a mailman running from dogs, and during that time I opened a retail business in the Mall, and it did so well I opened another! We worked really hard and were successful, then the economy slowed and my business began to fail. Like a precious crystal vase that slips through your fingers and falls, slow motion, to the floor, I watched my business disintegrate before my eyes. I lost everything. My business, my pride, our home, and I almost lost my family. In the end I packed up my wife and my two small boys, and with nowhere else to go, moved into the one place I never wanted to be, the basement of my mother in law’s house. It was the most crushing, most painful time of my life. (My mother in law wasn’t too happy either.)
But from great pain comes great perspective, and what I didn’t realize then was that I was never supposed to be a retail businessman, but had it not been for the obstacles of my business failure I would have never had to sell cars just to feed my family, and if I’d never sold cars I never would have thought “since I’m speaking to customers all day long, maybe I should look into this thing they call Toastmasters.” All the twists and turns of my life, all of Life’s Happenings, have led me right here, to the platform, speaking to people. After years and years of searching I’ve finally found something that I have a gift for, something that I can use to help people - lots of people.
Will speaking be my way of achieving success? I don’t know that answer. The better question is, will keep me out of my mother in law’s basement?
Think about your life, your successes and how you got where you are today. Your life happens for a reason, the obstacles you face are turning points. Life moves you to your thoughts, your dreams, to what you hold in your mind.
What is it you really, really want? If there is anything in this world you could accomplish, what would it be? As farfetched as it may sound, as crazy as it may seem, and as far away from your dream as you think you are, if you bring that thought to the front, if you hold it in your mind, if you “dream your dream” your obstacles will turn you and move you towards it.
Give it a chance. Believe in this process. See your obstacles as merely turning points and don’t get discouraged. Because the minute you think you are going in the wrong direction …
Life happens.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Military writings
As I have said, I have reams of notes going back for years. Mostly notes on success and human development, I would title them 'metacognition' notes. I have been studying myself all my life, trying to figure me out, trying to understand how I learn and how I succeed so that I can position myself to be happy and enjoy my successes. I'm not sure how good I am at this point; it seems that I am somewhat successful but improvements come slowly. Hey, I never was that good at school....
I was heavily involved in a chat site when our youngest son, Ryan, was deployed with the 1/6 Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our group was entitled the eBattalion (e stands for estrogen - it's a long story). It was an escape from life, escape from the daily shadows that follow all parents with a child in harms way, and I was the self-made entertainment clown. I wrote many things that were quite funny, but I had my serious side as well.
I just came across two of my writings during those times. For simplicity sake I will post them both together. The first was a short post to the parents and members of the chat site that I wrote about a fallen warrior - Justin Cooper. He was with the 1/6 Marines in Afghanistan and was killed in action. The second writing is actually a poem. Yes, I wrote many poems then. This poem was after we lost several Marines and it was an outpouring of my thoughts and hopefully a healing tool for the many family members on the ebattalion site.
Justin Cooper
The deafening noise of the drama unfolds, battle lines drawn between good and evil. An attacked country fights honorably for the freedom of an oppressed people. Chaos reigns, evil thrives, and uncertainty clouds the judgement of all. Fear infiltrates and erodes the morals of man.
In the thickest of the fight, through the dust and smoke and clouds, there alone stood one brave Marine.
His name was Justin Cooper.
For God called Justin to stand and deliver. He did not shirk, he did not shy, he bravely stepped to his destiny. Then God called him home, and Justin became our hero.
In the final measure, nothing speaks like deeds. Just as he surely had done countless times growing up, Justin stood up to protect the weak. Hero, warrior, patriot. Son, brother, protector. A leader of men.
Now, we are thanking you. For being so strong, for enduring all your pain, but most of all for giving us Justin. We would not have known Justin at all, then he stepped bravely into the realm of Hero, a Fallen Hero, now one of God's Marines. It was only then that we learned of this man, how selfless, how giving he was. It is only men of his creed, this righteous strain of men of steel, that are chosen to selflessly give their lives for the freedom of our great country. How sad that only the best are chosen for this sacrifice, but how wonderful that we honor them for the rest of our lives. And honor him we will do, for Justin has valiantly earned that honor.
Justin, we miss you, and we thank you for your selfless service to us and to this great country of ours on which you laid your life.
The tears shed by a Marine
Are the most rare and fall the hardest
For they are shed for our fallen brothers.
Semper Fidelis
Ken & MaryAnn Kraft
Former Marine
Parents of Sg. Ryan Kraft
Charlie Company, 1/6 Marines
#2
MY HERO
In this time of such great pain,
In these dark days of war's rein
He's talking to you now
And telling you calmly how
It was his turn to be - A Hero
As he was growing up,
A man from just a pup
Dreaming dreams like this by day
He always knew he'd find a way
To be - A Hero
Tortured and persecuted the people were,
Struck repeatedly by terror's evil spur
Never keeping what they earn
Not knowing where to turn
They cried out for - A Hero
He knew his chance had come
As he watched the towers tumble down
He packed up his things and kissed his wife
Just as he knew he would all his life
It was his time to be - A Hero
Sleepless nights, intense heat,
Never knowing when he'll eat
He looked into the eyes of the innocent
Content with himself that his life was being spent
As - A Hero
And he saw the progress made
As the people came out of the shade
He knew the right thing was being done
But the ugly war was far from won
They thanked him for being - A Hero
Then the weapon found it's mark,
And his whole world turned to dark
As his life poured out his veins
He felt the peace that always came
To - A Hero
Now he'd been doing it all his life,
So it just seemed natural that warm night
The position that he always did seek,
His turn to stand between the evil and the weak
His turn to be - A Hero
And now he passes the burden to you,
In memory of him, what will you do?
Find your passion, find your cause
And in his name have no more pause
Your turn to be - A Hero
We always think we don't have enough,
Hasn't he shown that you can be tough?
He's telling you now from Heaven's peak
Your turn to stand between the evil and the weak.
And you've always been - His Hero
Ken Kraft
October 2007
I was heavily involved in a chat site when our youngest son, Ryan, was deployed with the 1/6 Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our group was entitled the eBattalion (e stands for estrogen - it's a long story). It was an escape from life, escape from the daily shadows that follow all parents with a child in harms way, and I was the self-made entertainment clown. I wrote many things that were quite funny, but I had my serious side as well.
I just came across two of my writings during those times. For simplicity sake I will post them both together. The first was a short post to the parents and members of the chat site that I wrote about a fallen warrior - Justin Cooper. He was with the 1/6 Marines in Afghanistan and was killed in action. The second writing is actually a poem. Yes, I wrote many poems then. This poem was after we lost several Marines and it was an outpouring of my thoughts and hopefully a healing tool for the many family members on the ebattalion site.
Justin Cooper
The deafening noise of the drama unfolds, battle lines drawn between good and evil. An attacked country fights honorably for the freedom of an oppressed people. Chaos reigns, evil thrives, and uncertainty clouds the judgement of all. Fear infiltrates and erodes the morals of man.
In the thickest of the fight, through the dust and smoke and clouds, there alone stood one brave Marine.
His name was Justin Cooper.
For God called Justin to stand and deliver. He did not shirk, he did not shy, he bravely stepped to his destiny. Then God called him home, and Justin became our hero.
In the final measure, nothing speaks like deeds. Just as he surely had done countless times growing up, Justin stood up to protect the weak. Hero, warrior, patriot. Son, brother, protector. A leader of men.
Now, we are thanking you. For being so strong, for enduring all your pain, but most of all for giving us Justin. We would not have known Justin at all, then he stepped bravely into the realm of Hero, a Fallen Hero, now one of God's Marines. It was only then that we learned of this man, how selfless, how giving he was. It is only men of his creed, this righteous strain of men of steel, that are chosen to selflessly give their lives for the freedom of our great country. How sad that only the best are chosen for this sacrifice, but how wonderful that we honor them for the rest of our lives. And honor him we will do, for Justin has valiantly earned that honor.
Justin, we miss you, and we thank you for your selfless service to us and to this great country of ours on which you laid your life.
The tears shed by a Marine
Are the most rare and fall the hardest
For they are shed for our fallen brothers.
Semper Fidelis
Ken & MaryAnn Kraft
Former Marine
Parents of Sg. Ryan Kraft
Charlie Company, 1/6 Marines
#2
MY HERO
In this time of such great pain,
In these dark days of war's rein
He's talking to you now
And telling you calmly how
It was his turn to be - A Hero
As he was growing up,
A man from just a pup
Dreaming dreams like this by day
He always knew he'd find a way
To be - A Hero
Tortured and persecuted the people were,
Struck repeatedly by terror's evil spur
Never keeping what they earn
Not knowing where to turn
They cried out for - A Hero
He knew his chance had come
As he watched the towers tumble down
He packed up his things and kissed his wife
Just as he knew he would all his life
It was his time to be - A Hero
Sleepless nights, intense heat,
Never knowing when he'll eat
He looked into the eyes of the innocent
Content with himself that his life was being spent
As - A Hero
And he saw the progress made
As the people came out of the shade
He knew the right thing was being done
But the ugly war was far from won
They thanked him for being - A Hero
Then the weapon found it's mark,
And his whole world turned to dark
As his life poured out his veins
He felt the peace that always came
To - A Hero
Now he'd been doing it all his life,
So it just seemed natural that warm night
The position that he always did seek,
His turn to stand between the evil and the weak
His turn to be - A Hero
And now he passes the burden to you,
In memory of him, what will you do?
Find your passion, find your cause
And in his name have no more pause
Your turn to be - A Hero
We always think we don't have enough,
Hasn't he shown that you can be tough?
He's telling you now from Heaven's peak
Your turn to stand between the evil and the weak.
And you've always been - His Hero
Ken Kraft
October 2007
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Let Go of My Ego!
Going through my notes (I have reams of them) from past readings, writings, and thoughts, I came across these scribblings about the Ego. They are quite insightful and will hopefully give you pause and jumpstart your thoughts about yourself. Life is about self-discovery. The more we know ourselves, the more equiped we are to find peace, to succeed, and to realize our own special purpose in this life.
I hope you enjoy these notes and I pray that they put you in a different place than you were before you mistakenly stumbled upon this posting. If not, see the Complaint Department (that's my wife). She'll get right back to you. Promise.
EGO
We have an unconscious compulsion to enhance our identity through association with an object. It is built into the very structure of our egoic mind.
"I try to find myself in things by association but never quite make it and end up losing myself in them." That is the fate of the ego. It doesn't work.
The ego always wants more. The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth, is a dysfunction and a disease.
There is such strong emotion with losing an item or having it taken from you (I felt violated because my house was robbed). You are not less of a person without the item.
Many people don't realize until they're on their death bed and everything external falls away that NO THING ever had anything to do with who they are. This whole concept of "ownership" is revealed as meaningless.
If you take away one kind of identification, the ego will quickly find another. The ego lives through comparison. How you are seen by others turns into how you see yourself.
If we cannot look through this collective delusion, we will be condemned to chasing after things for the rest of our lives in the vain hope of finding our worth and completion of our sense of self there.
Large corporations are egoic entities that compete with each other for more. Their only blind aim is profit. They pursue that aim with absolute ruthlessness. Nature, animals, people, even their own employees, are no more than digits on a balance sheet, lifeless objects to be used then discarded.
Your identity to suffering is egoic (ex.-being a minority). You may then think and speak of yourself as a "sufferer" of this or that chronis illness or disability. You receive a great deal of attention from doctors and others who constantly confirm to you your conceptual identity as a sufferer or a patient. You then unconsciously cling to the illness because it has become the most important part of who you perceive yourself to be.
Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in.
There is a "me" that loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup or the inattention of store employees and is going to make the most of it. A "me" that enjoys making someone wrong. Sometimes it becomes obvious that the ego doesn't really want to change, so that it can go on complaining.
There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong. In other words, you need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are.
Here it becomes obvious that the human ego in it's collective aspect as "us" against "them" is even more insane than the individual ego, although the mechanism is the same. By far the greater part of violence that humans have inflicted on each other is done by normal, respectable citizens in the service of the collective ego.
The particular egoic patterns that you react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their indentity tend to be the same patterns that are also in you.
In certain cases you may need to protect yourself, but beware of making it your mission to "eradicate evil" as you are likely to turn into the very thing you are fighting against.
When the ego (or collective egos) is at war, know that it is no more than an illusion that is fighting to survive. That illusion thinks it's you.
If/when you learn to deny ego, what remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts and feelings come and go. That is Being, that is the deeper, true I. Once you accept that, whatever happens is only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses it's seriousness, it's heaviness.
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.
Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.
The extent of the ego's inability to recognize itself and see what it's doing is staggering and unbelievable. It will do exactly what it condemns others for and not see it. When it is pointed out, it will use angry denial, clever arguments, and self-justifications to distort the facts.
Zen - don't seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.
Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought. It reacts to every thought as if it were a reality.
If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that - small.
To the human 'Pain-Body', pain is pleasure. It is not so much that you cannot stop your train of negative thoughts, but that you don't want to.
'Pain-Bodies' love intimate relationships and families because that is where they get most of their food. The pain-body attempts to provoke - push their buttons, as the expression goes, so it can feed on the ensuing drama.
You are like an apparently poor person who does not know he has a bank account with $100 million in it and so his wealth remains an unexpressed potential.
If the thought of lack - money, recognition, or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. All you see is lack.
**Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give.
"Give and it will be given unto you"
When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy. You become a giver.
Abundance comes only to those who already have it. "For the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away." Mark 4:25
**AS LONG AS EGO RUNS YOUR LIFE, THERE ARE 2 WAYS OF BEING UNHAPPY. NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IS ONE. GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IS THE OTHER.
**Whether the other person is right or wrong is irrelevant to the ego. It is much more interested in self preservation than in the truth.
JOY CANNOT COME TO YOU. IT EMANATES FROM WITHIN YOU.
"For everyone who exhalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exhalted." Luke 14:10+11
If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe.
If you don't become speechless when looking out into space on a clear night, you are not really looking.
You are precious and at the same time insignificant.
When instead of reacting against a situation (failure, getting fired), you merge with it, the solution arises out of the situation itself.
Breathing isn't really something that you do but something that you witness as it happens. The Intelligence within the body is doing it.
Light from the galaxy closest to our own, the Andromeda Galaxy, takes 2.4 million years to reach us. In that context, do you really think you're that important? Relax.
Stillness is that language God speaks, and everything else is a bad translation.
The sun rises and sets, true or false? Both. From outer space - false. From your front yard - true. There is little black and white. There just is.
Intelligence in the service of madness. Splitting the atom requires great intelligence. Using that intelligence for building and stockpiling atomic bombs is insane or at best extremely unintelligent.
Stupidity is relatively harmless, but intelligent stupidity is highly dangerous. Intelligent stupidity comes from Ego.
There is a vast difference between stress and intensity.
You can lose something you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.
The three modalities of awakened doing are Acceptance, Enjoyment, and Enthusiasm. Each one represents a certain vibrational frequency of consciousness.
"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through. Listen to this music." Hafiz - 14th century poet
The ego's wanting always tries to take from something or someone; enthusiasm gives out of it's own abundance.
You cannot manifest what you want, you can only manifest what you already have.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. The meek are the egoless.
I hope that you have enjoyed these tidbits of wisdom. I pray that some of them struck a chord and sunk in. If you want to read more, ALL OF THESE NOTES came from the book entitled "A New Earth", by Eckhart Tolle. It is a great read and goes into much more detail that what you've just read. The Ego is a very complex being, but has evolved into a very evil weapon. One that we must control within ourselves. I did not have the time to put these notes into stories, so I have typed them as they appear in one of my notepads. My apologies for that. I still hope I was able to give you something, or pass the wisdom along.
I hope you enjoy these notes and I pray that they put you in a different place than you were before you mistakenly stumbled upon this posting. If not, see the Complaint Department (that's my wife). She'll get right back to you. Promise.
EGO
We have an unconscious compulsion to enhance our identity through association with an object. It is built into the very structure of our egoic mind.
"I try to find myself in things by association but never quite make it and end up losing myself in them." That is the fate of the ego. It doesn't work.
The ego always wants more. The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth, is a dysfunction and a disease.
There is such strong emotion with losing an item or having it taken from you (I felt violated because my house was robbed). You are not less of a person without the item.
Many people don't realize until they're on their death bed and everything external falls away that NO THING ever had anything to do with who they are. This whole concept of "ownership" is revealed as meaningless.
If you take away one kind of identification, the ego will quickly find another. The ego lives through comparison. How you are seen by others turns into how you see yourself.
If we cannot look through this collective delusion, we will be condemned to chasing after things for the rest of our lives in the vain hope of finding our worth and completion of our sense of self there.
Large corporations are egoic entities that compete with each other for more. Their only blind aim is profit. They pursue that aim with absolute ruthlessness. Nature, animals, people, even their own employees, are no more than digits on a balance sheet, lifeless objects to be used then discarded.
Your identity to suffering is egoic (ex.-being a minority). You may then think and speak of yourself as a "sufferer" of this or that chronis illness or disability. You receive a great deal of attention from doctors and others who constantly confirm to you your conceptual identity as a sufferer or a patient. You then unconsciously cling to the illness because it has become the most important part of who you perceive yourself to be.
Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in.
There is a "me" that loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup or the inattention of store employees and is going to make the most of it. A "me" that enjoys making someone wrong. Sometimes it becomes obvious that the ego doesn't really want to change, so that it can go on complaining.
There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong. In other words, you need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are.
Here it becomes obvious that the human ego in it's collective aspect as "us" against "them" is even more insane than the individual ego, although the mechanism is the same. By far the greater part of violence that humans have inflicted on each other is done by normal, respectable citizens in the service of the collective ego.
The particular egoic patterns that you react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their indentity tend to be the same patterns that are also in you.
In certain cases you may need to protect yourself, but beware of making it your mission to "eradicate evil" as you are likely to turn into the very thing you are fighting against.
When the ego (or collective egos) is at war, know that it is no more than an illusion that is fighting to survive. That illusion thinks it's you.
If/when you learn to deny ego, what remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts and feelings come and go. That is Being, that is the deeper, true I. Once you accept that, whatever happens is only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses it's seriousness, it's heaviness.
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.
Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.
The extent of the ego's inability to recognize itself and see what it's doing is staggering and unbelievable. It will do exactly what it condemns others for and not see it. When it is pointed out, it will use angry denial, clever arguments, and self-justifications to distort the facts.
Zen - don't seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.
Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought. It reacts to every thought as if it were a reality.
If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that - small.
To the human 'Pain-Body', pain is pleasure. It is not so much that you cannot stop your train of negative thoughts, but that you don't want to.
'Pain-Bodies' love intimate relationships and families because that is where they get most of their food. The pain-body attempts to provoke - push their buttons, as the expression goes, so it can feed on the ensuing drama.
You are like an apparently poor person who does not know he has a bank account with $100 million in it and so his wealth remains an unexpressed potential.
If the thought of lack - money, recognition, or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. All you see is lack.
**Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give.
"Give and it will be given unto you"
When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy. You become a giver.
Abundance comes only to those who already have it. "For the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away." Mark 4:25
**AS LONG AS EGO RUNS YOUR LIFE, THERE ARE 2 WAYS OF BEING UNHAPPY. NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IS ONE. GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IS THE OTHER.
**Whether the other person is right or wrong is irrelevant to the ego. It is much more interested in self preservation than in the truth.
JOY CANNOT COME TO YOU. IT EMANATES FROM WITHIN YOU.
"For everyone who exhalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exhalted." Luke 14:10+11
If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe.
If you don't become speechless when looking out into space on a clear night, you are not really looking.
You are precious and at the same time insignificant.
When instead of reacting against a situation (failure, getting fired), you merge with it, the solution arises out of the situation itself.
Breathing isn't really something that you do but something that you witness as it happens. The Intelligence within the body is doing it.
Light from the galaxy closest to our own, the Andromeda Galaxy, takes 2.4 million years to reach us. In that context, do you really think you're that important? Relax.
Stillness is that language God speaks, and everything else is a bad translation.
The sun rises and sets, true or false? Both. From outer space - false. From your front yard - true. There is little black and white. There just is.
Intelligence in the service of madness. Splitting the atom requires great intelligence. Using that intelligence for building and stockpiling atomic bombs is insane or at best extremely unintelligent.
Stupidity is relatively harmless, but intelligent stupidity is highly dangerous. Intelligent stupidity comes from Ego.
There is a vast difference between stress and intensity.
You can lose something you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.
The three modalities of awakened doing are Acceptance, Enjoyment, and Enthusiasm. Each one represents a certain vibrational frequency of consciousness.
"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through. Listen to this music." Hafiz - 14th century poet
The ego's wanting always tries to take from something or someone; enthusiasm gives out of it's own abundance.
You cannot manifest what you want, you can only manifest what you already have.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. The meek are the egoless.
I hope that you have enjoyed these tidbits of wisdom. I pray that some of them struck a chord and sunk in. If you want to read more, ALL OF THESE NOTES came from the book entitled "A New Earth", by Eckhart Tolle. It is a great read and goes into much more detail that what you've just read. The Ego is a very complex being, but has evolved into a very evil weapon. One that we must control within ourselves. I did not have the time to put these notes into stories, so I have typed them as they appear in one of my notepads. My apologies for that. I still hope I was able to give you something, or pass the wisdom along.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Note to Self - Time to Rise
As I suspect it is with most of you, there's just way too much information out there to absorb. I read a lot and retain little. The only thing I always remember is whatever my wife of 27 years tells me (hey, a guy needs to score points when he can...). So when I found an article rating the newest hiking boots/shoes, I needed to be able to tuck that information somewhere it could be easily retrieved. You simply cannot remember names like Garmen Moontracker XGS Duratrack IIIs, or XGen Ninja Clippers 345-TLs (ok I made those up 'cuz I already can't remember the real names). If I saved it on my laptop at home, I wouldn't be able to retrieve it at work or at the store so the obvious answer was to send the article to myself, however, you end up sending just the link (because they want you to return to their website!) so you really STILL don't have the information. A quick copy and paste the body of the article to a new email does the trick, then I just send it to myself (massive ego points for being super intelligent! Wait, what? EVERYBODY does that? Who leaked my trick?!).
This morning I'm sipping my coffee downstairs, determined to post a witty, motivational, emotional story (would you settle for 2 out of 3? How 'bout a really good 1?) because it's either that or the treadmill next to me (it stares at me like the GEICO stack of money with eyes!). To waste some time before I actually have to engage my reduced thinking capacity (like warmups) I pull up my email to wade through the cyber-muck of daily trash that I get. Now I normally delete my Spam without ever clicking on it to see if some quality email got caught in the filter like a dolphin in the tuna nets, but for some reason today I actually checked (I have to save the tuna!). There, laughing at me, was MY OWN EMAIL! In my SPAM FILE! How can that happen? Is my email-writing quality so bad (ala the Nigerian millionaires) that my computer labeled it spam? Was it the collective world consciousness telling me to go ahead and shove that pen in my eye because your own "note to self" messages are less important in this world than "Cooking with Rutabegas by Rachael Ray" cookbook email from Amazon.com?!! (ok, maybe the 'pen in the eye' bit was a little harsh) I slumped in the chair and stared back at my screen, unable to move, attempting to discern the real message...
Then I laughed. Ok, I get it. Irony. Not so much a "you're such a knucklehead" moment as a "here's a little whisper of a Life Lesson".
The "what I say gets listed in order of importance of what I pay attention to" Freudian comment? It's true. Do I really NOT pay attention to what I think or say to myself? It's really true, and it's true with you as well.
Why do you tell yourself that you need to start exercising, then eat that piece of chocolate or nuzzle that pastry at your desk (yes, nuzzle. Think about it). Why do you bemoan working so hard for someone you don't like, then still work late because you feel guilty that you haven't accomplished enough (or because everyone else is still working)? Why is it true that whenever you reflect on your own life you feel like you've gone nowhere, even though you know what you really, really want (yes you do)?
Because you (we) don't pay enough attention to yourself. Because you don't value your own insights, ideas, and dreams. Because you've been taught to shelve and hide your own feelings, your own selfishness, your own agenda for the good of others and community, and the world is using that against you. Marketing geniuses apply guilt and pressure to seduce you, bosses and friends use the same tactics to steal your time, and you apply most of the damage yourself in the misuse of your time and efforts with excuses and justifications.
You've put your own life in your Spam file.
Quit screwing around with your life. Stop floating on the sea and start swimming towards SOMETHING. In a flash your life will be over, what will you have accomplished? You answer all your emails, you return all your phone calls, you are a good employee. You're all the things EVERYBODY ELSE WANTS YOU TO BE, but what do YOU want? What is your destiny? What kind of life has God designed for you? You know the answer but you've been hiding, too busy answering to people who mean little and who in the end won't matter, too busy holding your hands over your ears trying to drown out that voice. You've shelved your own message into your Spam filter but it won't delete. It never will. It's your purpose in life, it's what you're here for.
You have two choices; keep trying to delete that voice, those thoughts, that 'note to self' in your Spam filter. Or answer the call. Cowboy up. Stand and deliver. Decide that the dream inside of you is going to come out one way or another and you are the one who will make sure of it. You and God. Once you decide, truly decide, that you are finally going to fulfill your destiny, it's like calling in an air strike. You just have to ask Him, give the exact coordinates (that means tell Him what you want to accomplish and let Him figure out how you'll get there), then get to work, knowing the impact is imminent. (think about that one too)
I just moved my 'note to self' spam email to my inbox. Easy decision, but backed with conviction and action, it's all you need to do. Go on, fullfill your destiny. It's time to move YOUR dream from spam to your priority inbox.
It's Time To Rise...
This morning I'm sipping my coffee downstairs, determined to post a witty, motivational, emotional story (would you settle for 2 out of 3? How 'bout a really good 1?) because it's either that or the treadmill next to me (it stares at me like the GEICO stack of money with eyes!). To waste some time before I actually have to engage my reduced thinking capacity (like warmups) I pull up my email to wade through the cyber-muck of daily trash that I get. Now I normally delete my Spam without ever clicking on it to see if some quality email got caught in the filter like a dolphin in the tuna nets, but for some reason today I actually checked (I have to save the tuna!). There, laughing at me, was MY OWN EMAIL! In my SPAM FILE! How can that happen? Is my email-writing quality so bad (ala the Nigerian millionaires) that my computer labeled it spam? Was it the collective world consciousness telling me to go ahead and shove that pen in my eye because your own "note to self" messages are less important in this world than "Cooking with Rutabegas by Rachael Ray" cookbook email from Amazon.com?!! (ok, maybe the 'pen in the eye' bit was a little harsh) I slumped in the chair and stared back at my screen, unable to move, attempting to discern the real message...
Then I laughed. Ok, I get it. Irony. Not so much a "you're such a knucklehead" moment as a "here's a little whisper of a Life Lesson".
The "what I say gets listed in order of importance of what I pay attention to" Freudian comment? It's true. Do I really NOT pay attention to what I think or say to myself? It's really true, and it's true with you as well.
Why do you tell yourself that you need to start exercising, then eat that piece of chocolate or nuzzle that pastry at your desk (yes, nuzzle. Think about it). Why do you bemoan working so hard for someone you don't like, then still work late because you feel guilty that you haven't accomplished enough (or because everyone else is still working)? Why is it true that whenever you reflect on your own life you feel like you've gone nowhere, even though you know what you really, really want (yes you do)?
Because you (we) don't pay enough attention to yourself. Because you don't value your own insights, ideas, and dreams. Because you've been taught to shelve and hide your own feelings, your own selfishness, your own agenda for the good of others and community, and the world is using that against you. Marketing geniuses apply guilt and pressure to seduce you, bosses and friends use the same tactics to steal your time, and you apply most of the damage yourself in the misuse of your time and efforts with excuses and justifications.
You've put your own life in your Spam file.
Quit screwing around with your life. Stop floating on the sea and start swimming towards SOMETHING. In a flash your life will be over, what will you have accomplished? You answer all your emails, you return all your phone calls, you are a good employee. You're all the things EVERYBODY ELSE WANTS YOU TO BE, but what do YOU want? What is your destiny? What kind of life has God designed for you? You know the answer but you've been hiding, too busy answering to people who mean little and who in the end won't matter, too busy holding your hands over your ears trying to drown out that voice. You've shelved your own message into your Spam filter but it won't delete. It never will. It's your purpose in life, it's what you're here for.
You have two choices; keep trying to delete that voice, those thoughts, that 'note to self' in your Spam filter. Or answer the call. Cowboy up. Stand and deliver. Decide that the dream inside of you is going to come out one way or another and you are the one who will make sure of it. You and God. Once you decide, truly decide, that you are finally going to fulfill your destiny, it's like calling in an air strike. You just have to ask Him, give the exact coordinates (that means tell Him what you want to accomplish and let Him figure out how you'll get there), then get to work, knowing the impact is imminent. (think about that one too)
I just moved my 'note to self' spam email to my inbox. Easy decision, but backed with conviction and action, it's all you need to do. Go on, fullfill your destiny. It's time to move YOUR dream from spam to your priority inbox.
It's Time To Rise...
Monday, June 21, 2010
Lions & Tigers & Bears, OH MY!!
When every nerve, every muscle, every cell in your body is screaming for you to run, do you think you can control that flush of terror and stand your ground? It's easy to think that you can, but do you really think you would?
MaryAnn and I are hiking the Appalachian Trail. For exercise, accomplishment, and a deep-seated drive to kill ourselves. We started at the Northern end of the Shenandoah National Park in Virginia and we're hiking south a few miles at a time. On our second outing, starting at Possum Rest (at their pace, do possum's need to rest?), we were heading down the mountain when we heard a noise. MaryAnn stopped and said "what's that?" Hearing nothing more we continued. Less than 20 paces later we were confronted by the source of the noise. 50 feet to our left a large black bear was clawing his way down a tree staring straight at us! I'm not sure I can describe the sound but I won't soon forget what a bear's claws sound like ripping down the bark of a tree (let's just say your scalp doesn't stand a chance)!! We froze (I think), his eyes were locked on us and for just that second I don't think my brain could make a muscle in my body move. A lightning bolt of terror struck us. Quickly I either said "C'mon!" or "Go!" or "hermiphhrrmp", I don't know which, but in my mind I was trying to put some distance between us immediately! We didn't run but we were walking QUICKLY!! (ok, maybe we ran a little...) After about 20 paces we stopped. (of course I had outdistanced MaryAnn, wanting to put something between me and that bear that he would find tasty!) I turned around slowly and started shouting in the direction of those 6 inch claws! We knew the rules for black bear - make yourself big, make lots of noise and they'll run away. No problem, except when you're facing a REAL BLACK BEAR!!
What I found instantly funny was the realization that both parties, bear and humans, were equally scared stiff and bolting for safety! After several minutes we forced ourselves reluctantly back in the direction of our fears, talking very loudly, eyes scanning the forest, muscles fired up in anticipation of another run-for-your-life, you're about to be a thin mint moment.
If that black bear came crashing out of the brush and began closing the gap between us full-tilt, I didn't think there was a chance in hell that MaryAnn and I would be able to plant our feet, act big, and shout the bear down. At that level of terror I knew the odds were I'd be running, fully aware of the foolishness but running nonetheless. Luckily, thankfully, we never got the chance to disprove my theory because Mr. black bear was far away, up some other tree thinking the same thing. Whew! Within 20 minutes we met four other hikers, one of which said he'd seen black bear almost every day (should we be rethinking this?). Fear faced, black bear stared down, bravery forced upon us, we finished our morning hike with great awe at the magnificence of this wilderness that God seems to have hand-painted Himself.
The thought of successfully forcing myself to stand my ground against a black bear is what has me thinking. Could you do it? No, really, could you? Stand against a charging bear? As you stand, your leg muscles are most certainly ripping at you to bolt, they're firing and twitching and flexing, lift that first foot and turn! Once that action is started you're in full flight my friend. Yeah, you'd be running right alongside MaryAnn and me, and hopefully we'd all be laughing later at how scared we were.
As I sit here, coffee in hand and laptop warmed up, several days later and miles away from our "moment of truth" (I'm glad "fateful flight" doesn't fit), I find the experience eerily similar to many of life's moments. Instead of molding and reshaping my prose, burning precious brain-power and working my morning away (my day off morning I might add), I could be enjoying my patio, watching a show I taped the night before, or just surfing the net (the invasion of Asian Carp is upon us!). There are a number of things I could be doing that would be easier, more relaxing than trying to put into words our 'I crapped my pants' bear encounter story. Believe me, I fought this. It took me 20 minutes to sign in to my blog. I could have turned on the TV just as easily as MaryAnn and I could have reversed course and walked the 1/2 mile back to our car. How many moments like this do we face each day? One, ten, twenty? I'd say plenty, maybe constantly. All day long we're faced with these decisions, do what I know I should do or relax a little. Take the path of least resistance. You deserve it, you've earned it. Chill out, have a drink, watch TV for a while. That phone call can wait, you can write the article tomorrow, your kids are playing by themselves, you can interact with them later.
Success or failure in your life will always be decided by you. It's the six inches between your ears. I knew that bear was gone, I knew he was as scared as we were, yet it was very difficult to force myself down that trail because my mind kept telling me how scared I was and continued to create visual images of a bear attack!! Where did I get these images? My mind just MADE THEM UP! I knew logically it wasn't going to happen, but it was so hard to ignore. Your mind is constantly creating images of failure, sabotaging every effort and keeping you from the unknown, from the life of your dreams. Yet there is a beautiful world waiting for you, waiting for you to rightfully earn your place, but you must push through the fear, the darkness, the pain. You must discipline yourself and not allow these fears and distractions to cause you to reverse course or quit (or never start). In the end it's really so much easier than struggling through life sitting in front of the television or thinking you're protecting your family by avoiding the risk of your dream endeavour. Those are the excuses from the six inches. If you don't believe me, then go to the mirror and tell yourself. Look in your own eyes and restate the reasons (excuses) you haven't been chasing your dream, the one thing in the world that you really want. That thing you think about all the time. Or tell yourself why you're quitting or why you did quit. Look into your own soul, then make a decision to fulfill your destiny even if it means walking back down that trail of fear.
Tomorrow, we're going back again and I cannot wait. One day we'll have hiked the entire Appalachian Trail and wondered why we didn't do it years earlier. You'll be thinking the same thing once you've conquered your challenge. Don't put it off, start today. Just get up and do it. Yes, it will be hard but life isn't supposed to be easy. Go ahead, prove yourself. You have all the wisdom, strength, and resources you need to succeed. The world isn't the answer, the answer is on the inside and your Maker has already equipped you sufficiently. Dorothy always had the power to go home, the lion always had real courage, the tin man was never without heart and the scarecrow was the smartest of them all. They needed a challenge to prove themselves and the wicked witch obliged. All you need here on earth, you were made with. He's just waiting for you to make the decision that you're finally going to be all that He created you to be.
I'm even looking forward to the next bear sighting. Maybe I'll stop running long enough to take a picture...
MaryAnn and I are hiking the Appalachian Trail. For exercise, accomplishment, and a deep-seated drive to kill ourselves. We started at the Northern end of the Shenandoah National Park in Virginia and we're hiking south a few miles at a time. On our second outing, starting at Possum Rest (at their pace, do possum's need to rest?), we were heading down the mountain when we heard a noise. MaryAnn stopped and said "what's that?" Hearing nothing more we continued. Less than 20 paces later we were confronted by the source of the noise. 50 feet to our left a large black bear was clawing his way down a tree staring straight at us! I'm not sure I can describe the sound but I won't soon forget what a bear's claws sound like ripping down the bark of a tree (let's just say your scalp doesn't stand a chance)!! We froze (I think), his eyes were locked on us and for just that second I don't think my brain could make a muscle in my body move. A lightning bolt of terror struck us. Quickly I either said "C'mon!" or "Go!" or "hermiphhrrmp", I don't know which, but in my mind I was trying to put some distance between us immediately! We didn't run but we were walking QUICKLY!! (ok, maybe we ran a little...) After about 20 paces we stopped. (of course I had outdistanced MaryAnn, wanting to put something between me and that bear that he would find tasty!) I turned around slowly and started shouting in the direction of those 6 inch claws! We knew the rules for black bear - make yourself big, make lots of noise and they'll run away. No problem, except when you're facing a REAL BLACK BEAR!!
What I found instantly funny was the realization that both parties, bear and humans, were equally scared stiff and bolting for safety! After several minutes we forced ourselves reluctantly back in the direction of our fears, talking very loudly, eyes scanning the forest, muscles fired up in anticipation of another run-for-your-life, you're about to be a thin mint moment.
If that black bear came crashing out of the brush and began closing the gap between us full-tilt, I didn't think there was a chance in hell that MaryAnn and I would be able to plant our feet, act big, and shout the bear down. At that level of terror I knew the odds were I'd be running, fully aware of the foolishness but running nonetheless. Luckily, thankfully, we never got the chance to disprove my theory because Mr. black bear was far away, up some other tree thinking the same thing. Whew! Within 20 minutes we met four other hikers, one of which said he'd seen black bear almost every day (should we be rethinking this?). Fear faced, black bear stared down, bravery forced upon us, we finished our morning hike with great awe at the magnificence of this wilderness that God seems to have hand-painted Himself.
The thought of successfully forcing myself to stand my ground against a black bear is what has me thinking. Could you do it? No, really, could you? Stand against a charging bear? As you stand, your leg muscles are most certainly ripping at you to bolt, they're firing and twitching and flexing, lift that first foot and turn! Once that action is started you're in full flight my friend. Yeah, you'd be running right alongside MaryAnn and me, and hopefully we'd all be laughing later at how scared we were.
As I sit here, coffee in hand and laptop warmed up, several days later and miles away from our "moment of truth" (I'm glad "fateful flight" doesn't fit), I find the experience eerily similar to many of life's moments. Instead of molding and reshaping my prose, burning precious brain-power and working my morning away (my day off morning I might add), I could be enjoying my patio, watching a show I taped the night before, or just surfing the net (the invasion of Asian Carp is upon us!). There are a number of things I could be doing that would be easier, more relaxing than trying to put into words our 'I crapped my pants' bear encounter story. Believe me, I fought this. It took me 20 minutes to sign in to my blog. I could have turned on the TV just as easily as MaryAnn and I could have reversed course and walked the 1/2 mile back to our car. How many moments like this do we face each day? One, ten, twenty? I'd say plenty, maybe constantly. All day long we're faced with these decisions, do what I know I should do or relax a little. Take the path of least resistance. You deserve it, you've earned it. Chill out, have a drink, watch TV for a while. That phone call can wait, you can write the article tomorrow, your kids are playing by themselves, you can interact with them later.
Success or failure in your life will always be decided by you. It's the six inches between your ears. I knew that bear was gone, I knew he was as scared as we were, yet it was very difficult to force myself down that trail because my mind kept telling me how scared I was and continued to create visual images of a bear attack!! Where did I get these images? My mind just MADE THEM UP! I knew logically it wasn't going to happen, but it was so hard to ignore. Your mind is constantly creating images of failure, sabotaging every effort and keeping you from the unknown, from the life of your dreams. Yet there is a beautiful world waiting for you, waiting for you to rightfully earn your place, but you must push through the fear, the darkness, the pain. You must discipline yourself and not allow these fears and distractions to cause you to reverse course or quit (or never start). In the end it's really so much easier than struggling through life sitting in front of the television or thinking you're protecting your family by avoiding the risk of your dream endeavour. Those are the excuses from the six inches. If you don't believe me, then go to the mirror and tell yourself. Look in your own eyes and restate the reasons (excuses) you haven't been chasing your dream, the one thing in the world that you really want. That thing you think about all the time. Or tell yourself why you're quitting or why you did quit. Look into your own soul, then make a decision to fulfill your destiny even if it means walking back down that trail of fear.
Tomorrow, we're going back again and I cannot wait. One day we'll have hiked the entire Appalachian Trail and wondered why we didn't do it years earlier. You'll be thinking the same thing once you've conquered your challenge. Don't put it off, start today. Just get up and do it. Yes, it will be hard but life isn't supposed to be easy. Go ahead, prove yourself. You have all the wisdom, strength, and resources you need to succeed. The world isn't the answer, the answer is on the inside and your Maker has already equipped you sufficiently. Dorothy always had the power to go home, the lion always had real courage, the tin man was never without heart and the scarecrow was the smartest of them all. They needed a challenge to prove themselves and the wicked witch obliged. All you need here on earth, you were made with. He's just waiting for you to make the decision that you're finally going to be all that He created you to be.
I'm even looking forward to the next bear sighting. Maybe I'll stop running long enough to take a picture...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Boots on the Ground Decision-Making
From the What I Wish We Did More In This World Department (or better entitled - Message to all supervisors, rule-makers, managers, and executives). Why do we make rules based on one situation, then apply that rule across the board? Why can't we allow our people, our Boots on the Ground, to make operational decisions as they see fit?
Two quick stories: Yesterday I am trying to send money to Costco to renew my membership (I have to pay to shop there? What a concept.) Since our membership expired several weeks ago (which means, Costco Execs, that we have done our shopping elsewhere for the last several weeks), instead of mailing our renewal to the state of Washington (taking 5 days by Pony Express), I thought since it's such a beautiful day I'd ride over on my Harley and drop off the payment to our local store (then we could shop there again SOONER). The renewal is $100, I had a certificate from Costco for $58.00 (a rebate of sorts for spending thousands there in the last year), and a personal check for the difference.
I rode over to Costco and walked in. Decision: go wait in line at the regular checkout to drop off my payment, or go to the counter labeled MEMBERSHIP that had only one individual waiting. No brainer - off to the MEMBERSHIP counter. Quick math: two workers helping two customers, one person waiting in front of me = quick service and I'll be outta here in 5 minutes (quick ego boost for being so smart). Then, of course, the inner workings of a large corporate juggernaut kick in. A briskly walking manager-type blows by (so as not to get caught by a customer and be sidetracked), grabs one of the counter workers to handle some perceived problem ("I need you to come up front"). Briskly walking manager then wheels around and blows by us again (speed = untouchable!) with beaten-down counter worker in tow. Quick math: one counter worker, 3 customers. CRAP! You guessed it. 15 minutes later I hear what I came for: "May I help you Sir?" Then corporate juggernaut rule #2 comes in. I explain that I would like to just DROP OFF my payment for my privilege to shop there. The worker looks at the check and certificate and says, "Sir, I cannot take this payment. If you were paying me the total $100 I could, but we cannot take this certificate here. You will need to go to the checkout line where they would gladly process your payment." I AM AT THE MEMBERSHIP COUNTER. The checkout line is less than 30 feet away (and of course, there's a line!). I say "thank you" and walk out the door.
An acquaintance has a meeting set up at a local coffee shop. He and his partner are meeting with some banker-types to discuss funding another line for his business. They get there at 10:30 for the 11:00 meeting to prep for the conversation. The waitress says, "Is all your party here?" He says, "No, they'll be here shortly." She says (as she points to the SIGN on the wall), "All must be present to be seated." So they sat near the door at a near-empty coffee house to wait the 30 minutes for their guests, so they could be seated at a table in the NEAR-EMPTY COFFEE HOUSE (by the way, that was AFTER he spoke to a manager).
Two situations, two rules enforced, more than two customers alienated. My acquaintance will never go back, and I went back to work and mailed my payment (which means I'll be shopping elsewhere for another week or more, totalling one month of spending money NOT at Costco). In both cases the workers (who are NOT at fault and should NOT be the recipients of our frustration) could have taken care of us with ease, but because of their leaders' robotic reactionary rule-making, we were inconvenienced again (hmm, sounds like the government, no?). Could the waitress have seated those gentlemen? Of course. Could the MEMBERSHIP counter person have taken my payment? Absolutely. Problem is, they would be breaking a rule, and we managers punish people that break our rules.
Message to all leaders and managers - Your people know better than you when they are working with customers. Wake up and let them take care of us and quit flogging them like they are incompetent slaves. EMPOWER YOUR PEOPLE and you will find that they actually LIKE to think, solve, and serve the public. The reason employees are disgruntled and unhappy is because they are forced to follow rules you set up that DO NOT WORK. The coffee house rule is a wise one as long as your business is full. The Costco rule I'm certain is logical if you're trying to streamline a process. In both cases business was slow and the customers WERE TURNED AWAY (and the employee doesn't care because they are secretly getting back at you for handcuffing them with your stupid rules). Does this make sense to anyone? In the end the management blames the worker and tightens down the rules, but I have one question for management. Were your workers incompetent when you hired them, or did you make them that way?
We as leaders, managers and executives must do a better job of screening potential employees and training them when they're hired. Help them do a great job by teaching critical decision-making skills, and you can take your 'rule book' and burn it (or stick it as your employees say). Let the "Boots on the Ground" make the decisions. You think business is complicated? Try getting things accomplished during a firefight when the people next to you are dying. You know how the Marine Corps does that? THEY USE 19 YEAR OLDS. Yes, the Lance Corporals and the Corporals who are right there fighting (the same people we wouldn't trust to punch a time clock) make the decisions in battle. They don't have to wait for a manager to come out of his office and they don't have rules (read customer warnings) hanging on the walls. They are taught a set of parameters and they are taught critical decision-making skills, then they drill on a daily basis. Do you train on a daily basis? I'm a manager and I don't. I also don't know anyone who does.
My rant is done. Empower your people. Hire them right, train them right, and let them make the decisions. Will they make mistakes? Yes, but it's better than the mistakes YOU are making for them by not allowing them to decide what's right at that moment for the customer and allow them to figure out how to MAKE IT HAPPEN. If you allow them to feel that their thinking and decisions make a difference then you will see a happier, more involved, highly effective employee, and you just might get credit for that....
Two quick stories: Yesterday I am trying to send money to Costco to renew my membership (I have to pay to shop there? What a concept.) Since our membership expired several weeks ago (which means, Costco Execs, that we have done our shopping elsewhere for the last several weeks), instead of mailing our renewal to the state of Washington (taking 5 days by Pony Express), I thought since it's such a beautiful day I'd ride over on my Harley and drop off the payment to our local store (then we could shop there again SOONER). The renewal is $100, I had a certificate from Costco for $58.00 (a rebate of sorts for spending thousands there in the last year), and a personal check for the difference.
I rode over to Costco and walked in. Decision: go wait in line at the regular checkout to drop off my payment, or go to the counter labeled MEMBERSHIP that had only one individual waiting. No brainer - off to the MEMBERSHIP counter. Quick math: two workers helping two customers, one person waiting in front of me = quick service and I'll be outta here in 5 minutes (quick ego boost for being so smart). Then, of course, the inner workings of a large corporate juggernaut kick in. A briskly walking manager-type blows by (so as not to get caught by a customer and be sidetracked), grabs one of the counter workers to handle some perceived problem ("I need you to come up front"). Briskly walking manager then wheels around and blows by us again (speed = untouchable!) with beaten-down counter worker in tow. Quick math: one counter worker, 3 customers. CRAP! You guessed it. 15 minutes later I hear what I came for: "May I help you Sir?" Then corporate juggernaut rule #2 comes in. I explain that I would like to just DROP OFF my payment for my privilege to shop there. The worker looks at the check and certificate and says, "Sir, I cannot take this payment. If you were paying me the total $100 I could, but we cannot take this certificate here. You will need to go to the checkout line where they would gladly process your payment." I AM AT THE MEMBERSHIP COUNTER. The checkout line is less than 30 feet away (and of course, there's a line!). I say "thank you" and walk out the door.
An acquaintance has a meeting set up at a local coffee shop. He and his partner are meeting with some banker-types to discuss funding another line for his business. They get there at 10:30 for the 11:00 meeting to prep for the conversation. The waitress says, "Is all your party here?" He says, "No, they'll be here shortly." She says (as she points to the SIGN on the wall), "All must be present to be seated." So they sat near the door at a near-empty coffee house to wait the 30 minutes for their guests, so they could be seated at a table in the NEAR-EMPTY COFFEE HOUSE (by the way, that was AFTER he spoke to a manager).
Two situations, two rules enforced, more than two customers alienated. My acquaintance will never go back, and I went back to work and mailed my payment (which means I'll be shopping elsewhere for another week or more, totalling one month of spending money NOT at Costco). In both cases the workers (who are NOT at fault and should NOT be the recipients of our frustration) could have taken care of us with ease, but because of their leaders' robotic reactionary rule-making, we were inconvenienced again (hmm, sounds like the government, no?). Could the waitress have seated those gentlemen? Of course. Could the MEMBERSHIP counter person have taken my payment? Absolutely. Problem is, they would be breaking a rule, and we managers punish people that break our rules.
Message to all leaders and managers - Your people know better than you when they are working with customers. Wake up and let them take care of us and quit flogging them like they are incompetent slaves. EMPOWER YOUR PEOPLE and you will find that they actually LIKE to think, solve, and serve the public. The reason employees are disgruntled and unhappy is because they are forced to follow rules you set up that DO NOT WORK. The coffee house rule is a wise one as long as your business is full. The Costco rule I'm certain is logical if you're trying to streamline a process. In both cases business was slow and the customers WERE TURNED AWAY (and the employee doesn't care because they are secretly getting back at you for handcuffing them with your stupid rules). Does this make sense to anyone? In the end the management blames the worker and tightens down the rules, but I have one question for management. Were your workers incompetent when you hired them, or did you make them that way?
We as leaders, managers and executives must do a better job of screening potential employees and training them when they're hired. Help them do a great job by teaching critical decision-making skills, and you can take your 'rule book' and burn it (or stick it as your employees say). Let the "Boots on the Ground" make the decisions. You think business is complicated? Try getting things accomplished during a firefight when the people next to you are dying. You know how the Marine Corps does that? THEY USE 19 YEAR OLDS. Yes, the Lance Corporals and the Corporals who are right there fighting (the same people we wouldn't trust to punch a time clock) make the decisions in battle. They don't have to wait for a manager to come out of his office and they don't have rules (read customer warnings) hanging on the walls. They are taught a set of parameters and they are taught critical decision-making skills, then they drill on a daily basis. Do you train on a daily basis? I'm a manager and I don't. I also don't know anyone who does.
My rant is done. Empower your people. Hire them right, train them right, and let them make the decisions. Will they make mistakes? Yes, but it's better than the mistakes YOU are making for them by not allowing them to decide what's right at that moment for the customer and allow them to figure out how to MAKE IT HAPPEN. If you allow them to feel that their thinking and decisions make a difference then you will see a happier, more involved, highly effective employee, and you just might get credit for that....
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Jane
Sometimes guilt is a pretty powerful thing. MaryAnn and I have been talking about going to upstate New York this year. It's been several years since we've been back and I haven't seen my parents in a long while, let alone anyone else in the family. Then Kyla texted me to say that this coming weekend (2 weeks ago) they are throwing Jane a surprise graduation party. She finally got her GED! Are you guys coming?! Well, it was Monday or Tuesday, so I talked to MaryAnn. The thought of driving 6 hours one way to spend a day in Bath, New York always seems illogical, but after a brief conversation we thought it would be worth it (and it would relieve my guilt). Almost all my family will be there, we'll get to see my parents, and Jane's celebration sounded wonderful. We're in!
Here's the greatest thing about Jane getting her GED. She's 60! Jane is part of our family. She's not really a legally adopted sister, but she's been with us since my earliest memories. She was a pregnant teen when we took her in, and I can remember growing up with her vividly. She has several children, a very nice family, and they were all there at the party. Life hasn't always smiled on Jane and she's worked really hard all her life, but the one thing she never gave up on was her education. A GED at 60? Why? Well, to borrow a phrase from my Mom, because she said so, that's why (love you Mom). She just wasn't going to let that one get away from her. Too often we dream our dreams, then let them pass without really giving any effort to achieve them. Possible dreams, things we have the talent or ability to do. We get lazy, life gets in the way, things get complicated and the years slip away. Not this time for Jane, it was the one thing she wanted and it wasn't easy for her. She struggled in Math especially, but her mentors and friends were there when she needed them. "Someone said it couldn't be done, but she with a chuckle replied ..."
Bath is a beautiful, sleepy little town. The more things change, the more they stay the same. MaryAnn and I spent a day with Karen visiting a couple of wineries, seeing the countryside, and driving through and around Bath. Great memories, I feel old and nostalgic. We arrive at the party fashionably late, and there are close to 100 people there! In Bath! It was remarkable to me that Jane meant that much to these people. After Jane put on her graduation robe and entered, she gave a very nice speech. Then her son-in-law announced "open mike" so that Jane's friends could tell us what she's meant to them. One after another they spoke. Some funny, some tearful, all meaningful and appreciative. A life lived in a small town, a simple life, seemingly meaningless but nonetheless touching the hearts and lives of others. Then, Jane's granddaughter spoke. It was nothing, really, but it was everything. She said that she had been struggling in school, confessed that her efforts weren't what they should be. She was bored, she was tired, school didn't have any real meaning attached to it. Then her grandmother showed by her actions how important it was to her, she showed how hard she worked for something her granddaughter thought was silly. So she vowed right then to turn herself around and start performing in school. Since her grandmother graduated, she had no excuse!
Isn't it marvelous how sometimes your actions have consequences far beyond what you believe? Like a stone thrown in a pond, Jane's determination produced a ripple in her granddaughter's life, a statement of inspiration that woke her up to the possibilities of an education. I'm certain Jane didn't plan that or even see that coming, it was one of those perfect, simple moments in life that touch your heart. Jane the grandmother, Jane the pregnant teen, Jane the amount-to-nothing struggler in life just became the wise elder of her family before our eyes. It was beautiful.
Pablo Picasso said, "I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it." Jane showed me that time and determination can produce a powerful life lesson. She showed that our struggles, our stubborn goals, our dreams yet unrealized, however insignificant they may seem to us, can be nothing but the most miraculous tool in God's hands. Jane showed me what happens when you just keep working towards your dreams, even when it seems like it's too late. A GED at 60? What do you do with a high school diploma at 60? You give it to God so he can save the life of your granddaughter by altering her mental path with your example. That's what a GED at 60 is good for.
What's your excuse? Pick a goal, dig out your life list and choose one thing. Something tough, something insignificant, something that you cannot do. Then do it. Enjoy the struggle, embrace your failures, and in the end you'll be in a better place. When you're done God will use you, as he used Jane, to inspire someone else to succeed in life.
In the beginning I was looking towards a weekend of slogging up Rt. 15 for 6 hours one way to say hello to everyone, then turning around and coming back home. In the end I received a gift of being allowed to witness one of the small miracles in life. A miracle of love, perseverence, faith, steadfastness, and a blossoming of hope for a future generation of Janes. All at once, all 100 of us wanted to be like Jane. Especially her granddaughter.
Here's the greatest thing about Jane getting her GED. She's 60! Jane is part of our family. She's not really a legally adopted sister, but she's been with us since my earliest memories. She was a pregnant teen when we took her in, and I can remember growing up with her vividly. She has several children, a very nice family, and they were all there at the party. Life hasn't always smiled on Jane and she's worked really hard all her life, but the one thing she never gave up on was her education. A GED at 60? Why? Well, to borrow a phrase from my Mom, because she said so, that's why (love you Mom). She just wasn't going to let that one get away from her. Too often we dream our dreams, then let them pass without really giving any effort to achieve them. Possible dreams, things we have the talent or ability to do. We get lazy, life gets in the way, things get complicated and the years slip away. Not this time for Jane, it was the one thing she wanted and it wasn't easy for her. She struggled in Math especially, but her mentors and friends were there when she needed them. "Someone said it couldn't be done, but she with a chuckle replied ..."
Bath is a beautiful, sleepy little town. The more things change, the more they stay the same. MaryAnn and I spent a day with Karen visiting a couple of wineries, seeing the countryside, and driving through and around Bath. Great memories, I feel old and nostalgic. We arrive at the party fashionably late, and there are close to 100 people there! In Bath! It was remarkable to me that Jane meant that much to these people. After Jane put on her graduation robe and entered, she gave a very nice speech. Then her son-in-law announced "open mike" so that Jane's friends could tell us what she's meant to them. One after another they spoke. Some funny, some tearful, all meaningful and appreciative. A life lived in a small town, a simple life, seemingly meaningless but nonetheless touching the hearts and lives of others. Then, Jane's granddaughter spoke. It was nothing, really, but it was everything. She said that she had been struggling in school, confessed that her efforts weren't what they should be. She was bored, she was tired, school didn't have any real meaning attached to it. Then her grandmother showed by her actions how important it was to her, she showed how hard she worked for something her granddaughter thought was silly. So she vowed right then to turn herself around and start performing in school. Since her grandmother graduated, she had no excuse!
Isn't it marvelous how sometimes your actions have consequences far beyond what you believe? Like a stone thrown in a pond, Jane's determination produced a ripple in her granddaughter's life, a statement of inspiration that woke her up to the possibilities of an education. I'm certain Jane didn't plan that or even see that coming, it was one of those perfect, simple moments in life that touch your heart. Jane the grandmother, Jane the pregnant teen, Jane the amount-to-nothing struggler in life just became the wise elder of her family before our eyes. It was beautiful.
Pablo Picasso said, "I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it." Jane showed me that time and determination can produce a powerful life lesson. She showed that our struggles, our stubborn goals, our dreams yet unrealized, however insignificant they may seem to us, can be nothing but the most miraculous tool in God's hands. Jane showed me what happens when you just keep working towards your dreams, even when it seems like it's too late. A GED at 60? What do you do with a high school diploma at 60? You give it to God so he can save the life of your granddaughter by altering her mental path with your example. That's what a GED at 60 is good for.
What's your excuse? Pick a goal, dig out your life list and choose one thing. Something tough, something insignificant, something that you cannot do. Then do it. Enjoy the struggle, embrace your failures, and in the end you'll be in a better place. When you're done God will use you, as he used Jane, to inspire someone else to succeed in life.
In the beginning I was looking towards a weekend of slogging up Rt. 15 for 6 hours one way to say hello to everyone, then turning around and coming back home. In the end I received a gift of being allowed to witness one of the small miracles in life. A miracle of love, perseverence, faith, steadfastness, and a blossoming of hope for a future generation of Janes. All at once, all 100 of us wanted to be like Jane. Especially her granddaughter.
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